ayer.
i've grown, i've matured, i've changed and for the first time, i dont want new beginnings.
these few years have been filled with drama in more ways than one. trust me. too much drama and heartaches. but in the process, i've learnt to cherish, to love, to trust, to open, to forgive, to accept much more than i will ever be able to.
right up to this day, i cannot tell you why God chose to put so much heartaches last year and this, but i believe i'll understand it one day. some day i will.
God wasnt cruel. never. He sent me someone when i was drowning. but, you dont need to know that. Its enough that someone knows, and remembers how today is what it is, what we are, because of yesters.
i don't want new beginnings not because of the satisfaction of my life, but because i have come this far without regrets. If "new beginnings" are what a new year brings, if "new beginnings" are what people want, i rather not have a new year. And i'd rather continue living in this, continuing to learn as it goes along.
i don't want to start again on a clean sheet of paper, it's the dirty crumpled paper that reminds me of what life is and how to be a better person.
cheers to continuing on in year 2009.
Hugs and kisses,
-Joanna, 1.55pm
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