BlogEntryNo198

whisperss.

i've been thinkingg. relatively, about everything i can possibly imagine with myself.


why make me fall when im not ready yet? the heart is not prepared for it. so is the mind.

i really wonder what God wants with me sometimes.
what does he expect from a seventween year old?? im just one on this billion populated earth, youknow. why do things keep happening contrary to my liking? its torturing that things keep playing in my mind. youre never fully there when thousands pace thru youre mind. im always thinking about something everysingleminute in these kind of times.
i create shells around me because they say, "you learn from youre mistakes". i refuse to be an openshell. but He really does like piking on shells like this one doesnt he?
what do you want from me, Lord??????
you've done it again, dearLord. making me fall again when ive already stood up.





and then He whispers,
"Look at Mary. She bore my one and only child at this tender age. Just like you, she was only a teenager. And the best of all, she said YES with a willing heart. trust my planns."





okayy, fine. i loose.
but Father, why? why now? why again?
Father, what if the odds will happen again?
what if i struggle again?


why make me fall when im not ready yett.?aku takutt.


Hugs and kisses,
-Joanna, 12.39am