BlogEntryNo390

Horrible

it's a horrible day.

i acted horribly and i feel horrible.

not that i want to act horribly, but some people just treat me horribly. how come i always get the youre too young treatment. i think people have and will always take me for granted. 

i'm not welcomed in a lot of places and i know it. what makes it worst is that some people know it and dont care about it. 

i get it, im too young, im too childish, im too insignificant. i dont like it when you take me for granted and jump into conclusions about how or what i feel. I too am human and i want to be treated like how you treat everyone else. just because im always caught up in or with something doesn't give you the right to say that i am always wrong and you know more than me. you are older than me but please dont make me feel small. you are older than me but don't make me feel inferior to you. that is why im afraid around you, because people around you have more to talk with than me who apparently knows nothing at all.

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sigh.

how do you tell someone what you really think and feel without ruining something special? Don't want to stoop down that low just to say what i feel. bothering, yet it just won't come out of my mouth.

BlogEntryNo388

my time machine.

Do you think time passes uber fast?

yea, me too. i know what my new year resolution is....to create a time machine and stop time, or at least add 5 more hours so i can get some sleep and still finish my work. 

i miss the kids =( 

did i tell you someone though i was a mother to one of the kids at the center? do i look that OLD??!!

BlogEntryNo387

I'm going to die faster..

Hi, it's me. I've arrived safely in year 2010, though I'm two weeks late.

Doesn't feel like a new year, no typical reflection of the past and resolution for the future. Why? Cause I was too busy trying to fit time for myself in my busy schedule of internship all the way till the 31st.

Now that I've finally arrived in 2010, i am officially back to the usual lifestyle that i predict will kill me earlier. 

Let me lay down the bricks...

1. I finally reached the big 2-oh!..Im not young anymore, how sad is that.

2. I finally reached the last leg of the degree. I'm starting my final year thesis 

     next semester.

3. I went a little to ambitious and took 5 subjects: Professional Development, 

    Ethics, Philosophy of Psych, Research Design and Analysis and Counseling 

    Psychology.

4. I am taking 4 year 3 subjects with a lot of field work.

5. I have to plan for a fundraising and a camp as part of coursework.

6. My classes are all back to back straight with no breaks.

7. My due dates for major assignments start as early as 2nd of February.

8. It's good that I have to see a counselor as part of coursework because I really 

     need one now.

9. I'm still involved in CF as secretary, Student Council as Secretary of 

    Events Dep., working for scholarship, Unifest 10' and musical as one of the 

    cast.

10. Due to my back problems, I have to see a physiotherapist and get an X-ray 

      done next week.

There you have it. Top 10 Jojo facts for Year 2010 month January to April!

Did i not tell you i resolute a bad year?

BlogEntryNo386

resolute a bad year.

somethings not right, or maybe it's just the mood swings.

everyday's gloomy, so maybe im gloomy too.

what is wrong with me?

i believe next year is not going to be a good year for me, how pessimistic. while everyone else is busy making new year resolutions, i resolute that next year will be tough and bad.

no kidding, i seriously do.

but it won't be bad because i know i'll get something out of it. oh wells.

i'll spent the last days of this year working till the end, unlike other years where you take it slow when it reaches the end. i'll zoom till the end and zoom straight to next year. heck, i have so many things to do i have things lined up right to the last week of the year and the first week of next year.

yippeee. i want my holiday =(

im a sad sad person, emo-ish, a little freakish, and a mood spoiler.

BlogEntryNo385

terrifying, horrifying, excitifying.

will be attending UCSI's International Education Conference (INEC) this thursday. They are organizing this conference for people to come present their papers and stuff. 

and another guess what?

09.45 am - 12.00 pm
	Parallel Session 1 Paper / Location 11.00 am - 12.00 pm
	Ballroom Section 1 (Teaching & Learning) Irene Tan Christine Wong An Exploration of African Students in Malaysia. Muhammed Yusuf Memorization as a Learning Style: A Balance Approach to Academic Excellence.	Ballroom Section 2 (Academic Development)    Fatemeh Parasteh Ghombavani    Mohd Ibrahim bin Nazri   Mohammed Sadegh Bijandi   Role of Higher Education Policy in Empowering the International Universities   Academic Staff.   Joanna Mah   Kho Carmen   International Differences in Moral Reasoning.

tada! Joanna Mah and Kho Carmen was accepted to present their paper in a nerve wrecking conference. Intimidating because we are one of the two papers written by undergraduates. 

I am officially terrified of presenting. 

good day!

BlogEntryNo384

Monday not-so-blues...

guess what? 

one week of kids and i fell sick twice. still recuperating from the last high fever. hence, the wonderful rainy Monday because its a holiday! we have been duly paid for our OverTime, hardwork, instant deadlines and lack of sleep by a perfect Monday holiday. perfect for my recuperation rest too.

and i would also like to apologize to boyfie for falling sick the special day.

im sorryy....

its been an amazing run, 

thank you for taking care of me,

and being there for me,

waiting for 8 months,

and the faithful 7th november.

thank you for my very first valentine,

my very first birthday party,

my very first flower,

my very first big teddy!,

my very first pillow,

and getting to serve alongside you.

and thank you for teman-ing me yesterday when i was sick, though you had to sit there and just watch tv on the bed. Haha. 

thank you, love you and happy 1 year! or 20 months? gahh, whichever lar.

happy 1 year!

BlogEntryNo383

one week.

last week was..

the one with the accident.

my very first accident which is technically my third. its the first time i hit a moving object driven by someone. technically, its the third. complicated. the first was a curb, the second was when someone bumped into me, so this is the third.

paranoid of texis but im fine. the texi had no scratch at all but he kept finding reasons to say that his car was dented. nevertheless, im glad i handled it well =) another reason why jojo has grown up.

the one with the end.

finished my two papers and the end of the 2nd sem of the 2nd year. i've never been happier to celebrate it with a retail therapy session and a indulgence session in Chilis. time passes fast. i have 1 more year before i graduate and 1 more semester before i start my thesis. oh boy. 

the one with the harassed.

i drove to tesco after work to get some groceries and shopping of my own. some guy followed me and started asking questions about what my name was, where i was from and insisted on my phone number. he followed me to the carpark but i didnt dare walk to the car. started calling the boyfie who insisted that he stay on the phone and get into the car only when he was gone. mr. harasser gave me his phone number which i am yet to harass him back and eat his own dirt and made me circle around my house half an hour just to make sure no one was following me. 

seriously, im in a state of shock. im angry at a pathetic guy and im angry for seeming vulnerable. im just angry.

the one with the job.

i started my internship at a child development center and toddlers have too much energy for me to handle. i cant keep 4 year olds still. and my first emcee-ing gig. 

the one with the bad back.

i have a massively bad back ache with a sharp pain every now and then. something about the muscle. looked it up online and most websites say it takes 4 to 6 weeks for it to heal fully. mum helped turn my mattress the other way round so i would get a firmer and harder surface to support my back. not helping since i have to chase toddlers for 2 months...oh wells.

i aggravated it the day i finished my final paper cause i went shopping round midvalley the whole day.

the one with the halloween gig.

went to urbanattic with the boyfie to watch his gig on halloween. no, i dont agree with the holiday, i was just there to watch him play. we left straight after. anyway, its been sometime since i watched them play.

BlogEntryNo382

hello hurricane.

did you know? i can't wait for their new release. few more weeks, few more weeks...

anyway, its almost the end of the semester. 

finals is next week, and im almost done with year 2.

few more weeks and its a year. 

do you remember the time during the elections? Haha. this is only meant for one person.

time moves pretty fast. 

it's been 3 years when i first left school. 

and you wonder why everyday was the same in school.

its pretty awesome so far. i must say a lot has change, A LOT. 

some things bad, some things good.

you lose some so you can gain something better, isnt that right God?

blerrg, i thought i had the mojo for blogging. apparently not. 

good day and good bye. 

oh, calendar update: i finish finals on the 28th. start internship 30th or 2nd. happy ber-holidaying...not! pfftt. no holiday again.

BlogEntryNo381

malacca.

   

BlogEntry380

oh sunny day.

im so vain. did i tell you that?

Haha =)

  

  

BlogEntryNo379

groovy Friday.

it was a cold, chilly friday. how i wish everyday was like that in kl...

hott arrr.

reached genting about 7.30. ate at this pizza football place while listening to him chatter about some footie throw in, whined about the lack of arcade games to relive our childhood memories, enjoyed the French market thingy, drank hot choco and slept. 

such a relaxing day...

now back to work. =( 

me no like psychological testing. very mah fan lar spss.

BlogEntryNo378

quarter-life crisis.

i'm seriously thinking of shutting up and just posting pictures of my blog, no kidding. Haha.

it's this phase of life where you feel like keeping things to yourself and broadcasting your thoughts globally makes you feel like you're just another number of google search's counter. Even if i do feel like pouring out feelings, i'm not sure I can find the right words to express them, or even if im sure of what i'm feeling at all. maybe that's where twitter got the idea of less is more. short sentences better express how you feel and doesn't make you seem like a total freako for writing random sentences on your blog entry...sorry, totally random.

photo by martyna adela d. 2008

speaking of phases of life, everyone seems to be going places. stepping into different and what i term "scary" phases of life. one step closer to making you feel grown up. which scares me, maybe i just dont want to grow up. i want to stay cozy under my parents roof and still have the freedom to be a grown up. 

this is the perks of growing up ahead of your time and peers. people close to me are stepping into different phases of life and i'm the one feeling the effects the most. 

maybe there is such a thing called quanter life crisis, instead of mid-life. seriously, im freaking 19 only and im thinking about saving money, paying for the bills and how i'm going to survive on my own.

this photo reminds me of someone. 

someone who made everything feel better yesterday.

and now i have to wait another 3 days.

BlogEntryNo377

lomo vintage.

lomo vintage pictures give me a sense of calmness, really.

they seem to happy and carefree..and sunny! yes, happy sun. not Malaysia's fussing eeky sticky hot weather sun. the happy sunny sun dress sun. get it? get it?

i yearn for a nice day off around a beach, walking aimlessly. its getting tiring rushing in and out everyday. still trying to find footing in the current semester and it's about to end, oh boy.

adeline showed me a fashion blogger's blog, Alix, and i absolutely love her shots. Not that im intrigued by her sense of style lar. just love her editings.

the cherry blossom girl.

BlogEntryNo376

a blogger's attempt to restart her dying blog....

trying..

trying....

still trying..

im out of brain juice.

im still here, cant bear to close down the blog.

hopefully some mojo attacks me soon..

till then.

BlogEntryNo375

hope.

it doesn't get harder than this..

but it sure doesn't get any easier.

BlogEntryNo374

where was this life that you had?

its been long.

it's been a rough couple of months.

it's hard keeping up, im getting drained.

the calendar seems to shiver by ever so fast,

i don't remember what day it is anymore.

i'm afraid i won't stop to embrace a day,

thanking thankfully.

but im afraid to stop, i don't want to stop.

i want to live having fun.

but walking along so fast makes me more than my age.

it's tiring not being your age.

i wonder why He is making me older than what i really am.

it hurts to look at someone suffer in silence,

why do we go through so much at such a young age?

it's tiring, why, it's difficult facing it when you're not ready.

such a young age, face the things you expect to face only when you become an adult.

how do you do it?

And after work you are so tired but still a star
So I waited all day by your side
It's starting to wear on my pride

Quit counting your tears

This is your life

You reached for the sun

BlogEntryNo373

1 Peter 1:24-25

For,

All men are like grass

and all their flory is like the flowers of the filed;

the grass withers and the flowers fall,

but the word of the Lord stand for ever.

and this is the word that was preached to you..

BlogEntryNo372

hollywood!

prom's today.

my dearfully date boyfee is already there for rehearsals.

he's mc-ing.

poor thing, always tired out. love ya, still!

BlogEntryNo371

i am now Joanna, 19.

lomo pic-tahs from my birthday.

due to damaged and dead neurons that is being cleared by my myelin sheaths on the axons of my various neurons in areas such as cerebral cortex, i am exhausted and need to replenish rest by reading CLEO in my comfy cosy now-orange light room thanks to babester.

forgive the physio psychology-ness.

i think i did badly in that paper.

 

i forgot to take a picture of the tee i got from kimmy, the bestie. will do soon.

toodleloos!